And at some point it just starts feeling unreal

It was a happy day. I was so happy. The world was supposed to be happy.
How many minutes had you managed to be at home?
Two? Three? Maybe four?

It hurts, worse than before. I guess it is worse than before.
Even though I promissed myself not to do it ever again.
Usually it doesn't sting until the morning. This one hurts already.

I want to talk but don't know whom to. I don't want to upset anyone.  And the ones it wouldn't upset, wouldn't understand. I just wish I could really show you how it feels...