It actually eased for a moment. For a tiny moment. But now I feel like crying again.
There's something wrong with my head.
I just want to sleep and not wake up.
At least not to something like this.

And that's how depression hits - you wake up one morning, afraid that you're going to live.

On the sidenote - I've started to get really anxious about the surgery. Just thinking about it makes me want to throw up.