The title describes this day way too well. It's been hell from the morning to the evening and if I thought that the English test was the worst one - oh god, I couldn't have been more wrong. I just sort of want to go to bed and sleep this all away but then again I just don't think it will help. I'm afraid of what my dreams will bring with them because I bet they don't have any nice surprises in store for me. Then again, being awake just doesn't feel good either really. Can you see my problem?
I don't really even want to talk about the exam. It was just horrible and right now I feel just so down because of it. I felt just empty and unreal after I left. I've just felt empty and unreal for the whole day. It just feels as if none of this is actually happening to me. That it must be someone else's life I'm merely watching. But no, it's mine. And yet it doesn't feel like mine at all.
I don't actually even really feel like writing now. I just can't. The words don't come out as they should and that just increases my anxiousness. So I'll stop here for today. Just wondering why. Why, why, why, why.
" I cried every night, which was shameful
I even tried to forget you because it was so hard
But I still think about you.
I'm still so lonely... "
» the GazettE - 七月八日
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